Subtle war

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“Oliver, which church do you attend?”, my senior colleague asked.
Catholic, I replied.
He proceeded and asked the rest of us who stated one church or the other.
In his usual joking manner, he mentioned how he didn’t know which church to attend again as there were so many churches.

One of us then said,
“my parents can let me marry from any church except white garment” and quickly added, ” I can’t marry a catholic guy”.
Another person concurred with her.
All of us laughed at each others opinion.

Imagine a gathering of 5 people and 2 out of the 5 have made up their minds personally not to marry a catholic.
That is like 40% of a gathering.

In what I think is a reaction to this,
the average to conc catholic family tells their daughter,
“Since a huge percentage of non catholics girls don’t want to marry your brothers (my opinion though), then you will have to balance it by marrying only a catholic brother.

That seems like a subtle war to me…lol.

Nevertheless, catholic or no catholic, how’s your personal relationship with my dear Jesus?

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Overcoming Self

Over the past two months, I have not written a word neither to myself nor to dear readers via my blog.
It has been due to some inconsistencies in the way life has been, though in all, I thank God.
However, I realized that it was not just the inconsistencies of which most have been overcome. The major stumbling block was “myself”.

Ideas of what to write keep flooding in but I find myself struggle to at least sit at a place and coordinate them.
Even when I get to sit and grab my paper and pen or rather my phone to type directly into it, out of laziness, I find myself deviating to other distractions.
When I eventually remember why I have my phone and then visit my blog, I get discouraged probably because of trying to figure out how to begin my sentence or the suitable title to use.
The result therefore being, “no blog again” and I go about my activities.

However, I have decided to “overcome self” and this is by recovering the purpose why I started blogging.

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I am not a writer neither did I love literature back in school but I decided to write because,
I realize that when ideas come, I implement them better when I have them written down.
This spurred me to having diaries but I decided to make my posts public for people to see my opinion in the concerns of life and either learn from them or criticize constructively to correct me on the better opinion.
Hence, the birth of my blog.

This brings me to reason for having a purpose in life pursuit.
If you don’t have a purpose, you find yourself easily discouraged in what you lay your hands upon.

Above all purposes is one which every living being must find and that is,
“What is the purpose of my existence?” ” Why has God chosen me to be among those in the land of the living today?”
When you discover this purpose, life will stop being just a horrible, boring, wicked, unfair one but rather a place of peace in Christ Jesus amidst all its terrible storms.

Seek God, discover your purpose today.
#happy new year friends.

My November Man, 2015

Grin grinnn”, my phone rang while I tried fixing dinner on that beautiful evening.

Who could it be? I wondered.

I hurriedly finished what I was doing and reached out to answer the call.
I beamed with smile when I saw it was one of my favorite callers.

What could be the gist this time?

In his somewhat calm voice,
“hello Ezy”
“Hi dear”
“Have you heard that the result of the job interview is released?”

Lawd! My heart sank deep into my rectum, I think.
I swallowed very hard, anticipating either the good or the bad news.
My heart beat had already accelerated and fibrillation almost set in.

“There were 30 successful people”, he continued.
“I saw this name and that name”

That was it.
I knew I did not make the list as he had not mentioned my name by now.

Oh no!
That was a bad news.
I was heartbroken.
I had really highly hoped to be among the successful candidates in this particular interview not to mention my fervent prayers to succeed but here was a human, telling me that I did not qualify.
I never expected this.

Pretending not to show my disappointment, I gave a fake laugh, telling him how just bad the news was.

After the call ended, I sank into a very sad mood.
I was devastated.
I thought of myself as a failure…but God forbid.
Depression was gradually creeping in.
Nothing else mattered but how I had failed.

As though God was watching me drift into the unwanted sullen mood, he sent me an angel through the same person that delivered the news.

You know how it feels when you get that ice chilled drink on a very sunny day or when you slide into the jacuzzi after a very stressful day?
That was how I felt when this angel in human form ministered unto my weary soul.
He just had the right words.

I was amazed that within minutes, the very sad and depressed lady, transformed into a laughing, cheerful happy woman.
I forgot my sorrows, I felt peace and unlike alcohol, it troubled me not again even after I stopped listening to him when the call ended.

Kai, this must be from God.

It would have been a November to remember in a negative way but my November man helped me say no to that which clearly reminds of the scripture that says,
for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking , but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” Rom14:17

The peace which is not the absence of sorrow but the comfort, contentment and hope amidst the turbulence.

To my November man, 2015, whom I have chosen to be Anonymous, I’m sorry dear readers, I say, “Thank You”.

Photo credit….internet

A fraudulent temptation

One morning, I desired money to purchase an item.
I prayed wholeheartedly for this financial gift.

Few hours into the morning, I got a phone call.

Hello Ezinne, he said.
Hello.
It is Emma.
Oh, Emma, how are you? ( thinking it was the Emma I know)
I’m fine and you?
I’m fine, I replied.
Yes, there is this contract I want to link you to where you will act like my sister and I want you to supply the goods……. and he continued for a few minutes.

It dawned on me that the voice was rather strange with the Emma I knew.

I stopped him and asked, “which Emma please?”

When he mentioned his surname, I acted like I knew him.

Here he was, discussing money with one of the most vulnerable people to fall for it.
I flowed with him to get every detail hoping that somehow somehow, it would be genuine.
God knows, cash was seriously on my mind…lol.

Nevertheless, I sought evidence of how he knew me.

He reminded me of how we travelled together to one state sometime last year and how I told him to link me up to such business whenever there was an opportunity.

Truly I travelled to that state about same time last year.
Ewww, cards were clicking and I was becoming a victim.

He expressed how sad he was that I could not recognize me and I rendered one of the calmest apologies to him.
Remember, money was on my mind.

He ended the call out of anger and the mumu in me called him back to apologize further.
This Igbo blood in me must have been at its peak…lol.

The call was ended abruptly again because I was not understanding the game.

Nevertheless, it was for my own good because my medulla oblongata, hypothalamus and all the rest of them in the sleepy brain just got reactivated and I thought to myself,
“If this gentleman was looking for whom to assist, why not his sister or cousin or any relative?
Of all people, he chose a stranger whom he claimed he met more than a year ago”
God forbid bad thing….lol

That was when I realized I was entering one chance because his next call was that If I were in Aba, I should have sent him my account number to send me some money to do the supplies.

See me, see supplier.
My case, na God’s hands e dey.

Please people, guard yourselves o.

Sometimes, it is the very things we desire that we are tempted with.

Be alert for the devil is roaming about looking for whom to devour.

Where is the child that was me?

While returning from one “waka” one afternoon, I saw a gathering of people listening attentively to one man along the pedestrian side of the road.

On closer observation, I saw a variety of roots and herbs and then understood that it was a herbal medicine man probably teaching the uses of the herbs and of course, with some to trade to his audience.

Quickly, I calculated why I should not be seen in that gathering believing that I had a superior knowledge of orthodox medicine.

After about 1km distance, I heard very loud entertaining songs filling the air.
As I approached the arena, I saw another people who gathered and were being entertained by a “five-star” dancer.
It seemed thrilling from the distance but I could not get myself to stand with others and watch.
Probably I was trying to maintain some false class.

But what did I really want?

I wanted to be that girl who would see people gather to hear from a supposed herbal doctor and join them to listen.
Who knows what he had to offer?
Probably, it could be the one root or herb which will be a basis for breakthrough in orthodox medicine.
But, pride did not let me learn because I felt I knew more.

I wanted to be that girl who has real interest in dancing and sees another dancer entertaining people but instead of walking past them, she stops and join in the entertainment, making herself happy from seeing people do what she loves.
But pride would not let me.

Where has the humble child in me gone?

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I have let the supposed literate world and scam teachings of being more trained or more privileged than others take that from me.

Pride is scam, aswear….lol

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Photo credits……internet.

My October Woman!

After my parents had welcomed her, she turned to me and said,
” when are you going to visit me?”
Wow, I was perplexed. I never expected the question but here I was, being invited by one of the women I have come to admire.

Quickly I replied, “I will come this week”, hiding the excitement I had.

Days went by to my much anticipated day.
I had been very selective of my outfit, knowing where I was going.

I called her to tell her the time I would come over to spend the night.
Her response was so comforting that the excitement increased geometrically.

Following her directions, I arrived at the bus stop.
She drove to come pick me up to continue our journey.
You could barely know that she is many years older than I am because of the way she related with me.
I still never expected it even though she was my cousin.
We have never had this personal interaction besides the usual,
“Ezy, how are you?” whenever she visited her parents who lived close to my house.

After some distance on a lonely road, we arrived where she lectured and resided at “St Paul’s National Mission’s Seminary, Abuja”.

The serenity of the environment was so suiting that you could hear the footsteps of the marching soldier ants.

Not wanting disturb the peace and quiet of the seminary, I insisted on carrying my luggage on my hand without pulling it on the tarred road, hence generating noise.

When I entered her room, Holy Mary! I was amazed at the sight of the library I was greeted by.
With my mouth and eyes wide opened, I asked her,
“Sister, are all these books your own?”
She said, “yes” and added that her collection was even small compared to that of her neighbor’s.
You don mean it! I never even begin life, I said to myself.

I fed my eyes long enough that I did not hear when she told me to relax, eat, shower and rest. I was already resting on her book shelves….lol.

She then gave me the book she authored,
“The unity of male and female in Jesus Christ”
(An exegetical study of Gal 3:28c in light of Paul’s theology of promise)

My eyes widened further.
The book was very “pagified” with a lot of contents that was beyond my comprehension except I prayed specially for understanding.
I only wondered at the genius to have researched this and the wisdom to have patiently penned down and published the book.

Luckily, there were no flies around because my mouth opened further when I read a poster on her wall that was titled,
” The first African Woman to Defend PhD in NT Exegesis at Katholieke Universiteit Leuven!”

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I was in the same room with a genius!
It did not end there.
The pure neatness of her apartment caught my attention that I asked her,
“Did you just move into this place?”
Her reply amazed me when she told me that she has been living there since three years…. Wow

It’s only that I want to marry. She would have been my lifetime mentor but she is a Reverend Sister.
That notwithstanding, I have learnt a lot from. From her library as well, I got an enriching book, “why am I afraid to tell you who I am?”

Rev. Sr. Dr Gesilia Nneka Uzukwu, my October woman, is not just my cousin but an exceptional woman whom I admire.

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My October woman

God bless you more Sister.

You can order her book via..
http://www.bloomsbury.com/author/gesila-nneka-uzukwu

Not out of fear, neither hypocrisy.

My pastor says, do not do this or that.
The instruction our teachers who are guided by God, give to us, is good.

But, what convictions do you have to do them right things?

Or is it for fear of getting the back seat in the church? Or fear of the consequences listed out when you go astray?

How about when the spiritual director is not with you or there to checkmate whether you are still on track as he preached? Will you then allow hypocrisy?

It is not all about, “my pastor or priest says…..”

What sayeth the Holy Spirit to thou?

Again, certain principles are given you by people as rules for success, relationships, engagements, etc and you forget you might just be that one exception to the rule.

Listen, a Potter moulded you in a vase different from another.
There is no one who can explain and guide you best on how or why you were shaped the way you are, than your Potter, God.

It is very important that you have a personal relationship with Him and not just waiting for someone to tell you what he or she thinks or is convinced that God said .

During my early years in school, it seemed all my roommates had mentors.

I prayed almost all day for God to send me someone just as He sent Phillip to the Eunuch to explain the scriptures.

I earnestly longed for a spiritual director just like everyone else but God taught me patience.

Not to underestimate the role of a mentor or a spiritual director who is essential in life’s journey, he made me understand that my own journey would be in steps, after I pass one test, I progress until His own timing when He will send me someone.

I passed some steps the hard way admist moments of depression, confusion, hopelessness but He still got me in His own way.

The good news being, though I am still climbing, to an extent I am convinced about the Christ we preach and the power of His resurrection.

Why this personal relationship and conviction is important is because, the times we are in now is full of trials, temptations, false prophets, etc.

A time where you are made to believe that if you do not type, “Amen” to a post, God will not bless you.
Then you become afraid of the consequence if you don’t.

What? On whose authority do you spit such?

They are here to shake our faith and if you are not careful, you may be like the builder who laid his foundation on sand and when the storm waves came, it washed all away.

When I was sick as detailed in my previous post, “on the way to hell”,
my faith was shaken but I found solace in the word that says, “be not afraid of him who destroys the body but of him who is able to destroy the soul”.

The best kind of life is that based on personal conviction, thus you need to be personally close and tap directly from your maker to know what He says.

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His word is richly available to us with His Spirit present to teach us and lead us into all truth.

Once you show eagerness toward Him, as the deer pants for the waters, trust me, you will get to where you are going and even better than anticipated.

Shalom!

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