NAKED, I HAVE COME.

Strip me of that wig that conceals the baldness I was born with.
Strip me of that foundation and concealer that concedes my big painful pimples and dark spots
Strip me of that false lashes which paints an expensive picture of my simple self.
Strip me of that lipstick that hides my cracked dark lip

Strip me of that headgear with overflowing gowns that make me appear like the saint that I am not.
Strip me of that holier-than-though attitude I display in public while a sinner in my closet.

Strip me of that outward display of kindness whereas I can’t feed my hungry neighbour out of my bounty.

Strip me of that charming smile accross my face, to show the tears of longing for more of You each day.

You have taken me through years of my life.
With all the blessings and all.
Today, I present to You my naked self
With tears looking for escape, in remorse for my sins, in thanksgiving for your faithfulness even in my faithlessness, in joy for my blessings.

Today, I say continue with the wheel, steering me according to your course.

One thing I want to do

I  want to please everyone

I don’t want anyone to be mad at me

I don’t want anyone to feel bad because I  disagree with their opinion 

I am scared that my speaking out may bring me trouble

I want everyone to see me as “the good”

I do not want people to know my stance in some matters because they may win the argument that follows, making me feel bad

I don’t want the public to have a negative opinion about me

If I must write or speak in public,it will be only what I  feel people will accept

Thus,I refuse to be freely me and speak the truth I am convinced of

I refuse to have a say because of fear of rejection

I refuse to say or act right because of fear of not getting everyone’s approval

I remain in my shell

Rearing out my head only behind the masses

Nodding in approval at other people’s stories and convinction

I do not want to be criticised for anything because I will feel hurt

I do not want someone to question my dreams and goals because I don’t want to feel bad

I refuse to speak the truth or act right just because I am afraid of how people will react

I refuse to take bold steps because the world may think I am stupid

I  have refused to do one thing, just because of what people may say

Until I understand that I may be the voice of that voiceless group of people who I do not even know

Until I am ready to absorb criticisms, stand firm on what I believe without being swayed by just any wind that blows

Until I am ready to stand for something and not just sit on the fence

Until I am ready to voice my opinion without fear of people calling it a stupid opinion,even if they do

Then I am ready to do that one thing

I am ready to grow

Tiny little blessings…1

We are regularly asked to practice what we preach but when we look deep,we fault on many occasions.

However,this lady who sat by me today in church indirectly taught me a lesson.

We had listened to the sermon on the topic,’humility ‘ where the preacher delivered the topic with examples.

It was time for the second 0ffering and as usual,we were told how God was going to bless all who partook in the offering . This took people out of their sits to go receive the “special” blessing.

I had just returned from work in order to attend mass quickly because I had missed 2 previous Sunday masses due to work. I didn’t have time to pick any extra money but to leave with the #50 transport I needed to take me back to work after church. 

This beautiful lady beside me must have wondered why I was not interested in the special blessing but I wasn’t perturbed. 

As I was admiring the various dress styles on people who had gone to donate money,she quickly opened my palms and squeezed in some change for me to go receive my blessing.

I was amazed.

This reminds me so much of my childhood when the elders would give us money to go drop offering on their behalf in church. 

This was different. She was a young lady like me, no ring on her finger,probaby single.

I chatted her afterwards to realize that she didn’t even have a job…but had come down to my town to acquire some skills to be an entrepreneur.

It blesses my soul when I see a young lady who looks out for the good of a fellow woman without the envy,jealousy and malice that we are usually tagged with.

If you are such woman who wants the best for another, encourages and uplifts another, then you are my friend.

I’ve made myself a friend today and I pray we don’t regret this friendship.

You are invited to my….

image

  

Hehehehe, I got you.
You probably thought it was my wedding or child dedication.
Not my induction either…lol

I noticed that most of us are not proud of who we are from the roots. We would rather want to live up to the fake expectation of others because we are fighting our self esteem.
We want to show our counterparts on social media that we are also “tushed” and trendy.

Sometime in December last year, a friend visited my hometown. We needed memory selfies and knowing that the pix might go where I know not about, just in case, u know….lol, I immediately took her to the finest place in our community to use their background. Who else is guilty of this?

Really, does it mean that all my Facebook or instagram friends live in the cities?
Even in the cities, do they all have cars and live in places like Lagos’s Lekki, just like almost all pictures that appear on my page tell?
Even when someone captions a photo as taken in the village, you wonder if they all come from Igbere or Abiriba villages.

I thought of this because I found myself in my village few days ago to harvest and process our food. It was and is a beautiful experience that instead of buying everything, we can boast of processing our very own fufu, ukwa(breadfruit), palm oil, garri, having tons of mangoes at no cost, etc

image

If you want any of these, you are invited to my village…. Lol

And next time you are taking a selfie, be proud of who or where you are and what you do.
We must not all do what others do.
Dare to be different.
Say no to gross pretence or fake life.

If you could, Henry, then I too can.

It’s never been this close.
I now understand the phrase.. “I can’t believe this” because truly, I can’t.
I can’t even think it.
Once your name comes to my thoughts, I wave it aside because people don’t know what they are saying.
In fact, I would assume everyone is not just mad but very mad at the moment to think it or I’m in a dreamland.
I just got home this evening and saw people gather. I went up to join them but I asked myself, what am I doing here?
Who did I come here for? It’s either to see you or your brother or deliver message to your mum.
No no no no, somebody must have mistaken your identity and they are very mad to joke with that.
It’s day 2 and I can’t think it because I don’t believe.
Henry, oh no!!!!
Where are you?  You are not replying your messages. You make me laugh a lot. Every moment, be it physical, call, chats, I cherish dearly.
You are too good, perfect gentle man, have a very bright future, a lady’s dream man.
You know what, it can’t be you. No, it can’t.
Be back soon and be fast about it.
My induction is soon and I want to tell you about it. I know you will request pictures. I will have them.
You told me perfect words as I prepared for my final mbbs.
The joke is costly and so far I know, I won’t accept what people are saying.
The places I’ve been yesterday and today, I only soiled their environment with my tears because I can’t help them.
If you could die, then I too can. I see no reason why you should go. What’s in this world? If you can answer me, tell me.

God, please!!!

The sinner in heaven

The preacher is preaching in the bus and I am thinking…

Why is she preaching, for money?She can’t even quote a passage correctly. Imagine her English. Can I listen to that? Then, i doze off until its over.

While the sermon is going on, I am thinking….

What new message is this priest delivering? He is just reading what he jotted. I have passed this level of telling me to repent. This message is not for me. Goodness should have been here because this message is for her.

While the worship songs are being rendered, I am thinking…

Can’t these people sing the trending songs? Ohhh, all these Igbo songs,i tire. I can sing better than that voice. I wish i were in charge. Sing the songs that will lift our spirits, please.

The praises begin and I am thinking…

Hmmm, I can’t dance here with these people. I need to maintain who I am. This man beside me should take it easy, he is clapping too loud. Is he the only one here?

The prayer session begins and I am thinking….

This woman should tone down her voice, I can’t hear myself. Are these people really under anointing or are they faking it? This prayer is too long. They should just end so that we can do other things.

While the preacher preaches, he listens.

During the sermon, he listens and takes note to check up later.

While the worship goes on, he lets go of all wordliness and worships his God.

During the praises, he dances, sings, claps because he is wowed by the yet-another-chance given him by God despite his unfaithfulness.

At the prayer session, he cries out, confessing his sins and prays for renewal.

While I am thinking, the supposed sinner makes peace with his God because he recognizes his short comings.

The “saint” leaves the worship arena the same and even unknowingly worse, while the “sinner” goes home, now a saint.

Such is life! Things seem to get scarier as we climb that spiritual ladder with humility gradually taking its leave. 

The goodnews is the saints will be the saints, the sinners turned saints will be the saints but watch it, the saint who thinks he stands lest he falls.

….and each tear that streams…

It may be due to overjoy

It may be due to a heavy heart.

tears-in-eye

It may be due to the feeling at time of worship

It may be due to a disappointment.

It may be due to a loss.

Sometimes, it is idiopathic(unknown cause).

Whatever reason it may be, it pools within the eye and each tear that flows from this pool, streams cutting across

The grasses of the eye lashes

The plain of the lower eyelid

The skin overlying the zygomatic bone, sometimes reaching out to the nose joining its secretion

The jaws both upper and lower, sometimes including the angle of your mouth, till it wets your entire beauty and handsomeness leaving you with red eyes.

Such a precious course originating from the eyes.

….and i ask, does the situation worth the flow?

If yes, then let it.

Again I ask, does the situation worth the flow?

If no, then save it.

P.S…It is helpful sometimes to cry. Not that it gives solution but it helps to express emotions and as well relieves some weights off our tiny minds.

For those situations that cause you tears, both of joy and of infelicity, always relate with your maker-God.